Long Time No Write

Well, it’s been a minute! Sorry for the radio silence – I’ve honestly been struggling to get back into the swing of things. The past couple of months have been a weird mix of feeling a bit depressed, a bit distracted, and honestly just trying to channel my inner author. One thing I didn’t expect? Getting prescribed anti-depressants here in Canada. Turns out, depression decided to tag along for the ride.

I’ve dealt with mental health stuff since I was probably 13 or 14, and the move here, plus all the unrealistic expectations I had about coming to Canada, and the seasonal depression, just hit me all at once. After some good advice from family and friends, I finally admitted I needed a little help to get through it. And here we are.

I won’t lie – I was really frustrated about going back on meds. I fought for years to get off them, so it felt like a major setback. But, you know, it is what it is. I’m feeling better, and it’s helping me enjoy my time here a lot more. Sometimes you just have to do what’s best for you, even if it’s not what you imagined.

So, speaking of doing things I never thought I would – I mentioned I wanted to write a book, m Well, I’ve actually done it. Or, at least, I’ve gotten it to a point where I think it’s done. I’ve been working on it for the past 2.5 years, and now I’m like, “now what?” I’ve been researching self-publishing and am thinking about going that route. It’s less of a traditional book and more of an interactive, informative journal for people going through heartbreak or grief. It’s something I really needed when I was at my lowest, but nothing really felt right, so I figured I’d create it myself.

Honestly, I’m pretty proud of what I’ve made. But now, I’m at that stage where I need to figure out how to actually publish it. I’m thinking of Amazon to start, but before I dive in, I definitely think it needs a second set of eyes. If anyone knows anyone in the book or publishing world (or has some tips of their own), please send them my way. I’m ready to get the ball rolling, but I need a little professional advice before I do.

Aside from the book, I’ve been keeping myself busy with a few other things. I got a camera because I’m obsessed with watching vlogs, and, of course, I thought, “I can totally do that too!” Classic me – bought all the gear without having a clue what I’m doing. But I’m learning, slowly. I also picked up a refurbished MacBook to help with writing, job hunting, editing videos, and all the other things I’ve impulsively decided I should do. It’s a little overwhelming, but hey, I’m figuring it out.

The only problem is, I’m terrified of filming in front of people or talking to my camera in public. So, yeah, still working on that whole "not being nervous to talk to a camera" thing.

On the job front, it’s still a bit of a love-hate situation. I’m still going, but the late evenings are draining, and I’ve been trying to communicate that and figure out a better balance. Ideally, I’d love a Monday-to-Friday job because weekends are important. But, I haven’t prioritized looking for one. Job hunting is exhausting and soul-crushing, and I’ve kind of just thrown my hands up in the air for now. I know I’ll regret it once summer rolls around, though, when I really want my weekends off. So I guess I’ll need to get back to it at some point.

I’ve also been trying to get back into fitness. I signed up with my previous fitness coach, and I’ve tried hiking, running, swimming. But the highlight of my fitness adventures was this 30km walk I did recently. I speed-walked through tons of steps and trails, and now my knee is completely wrecked. Any incline or step I get pain. I’ve basically lost all the momentum I built up. Annoyingggggg!!

I need to get it checked out, but the healthcare system here is pricey, so I’m trying to figure out what to do.

On a more fun note, I started ice skating! Did two lessons, but had to pause because of my knee. I’m hoping I can get my money back or at least get it credited for another term. Still figuring that out.

I think that’s enough rambling for now. I’m really going to try and keep the blog updated more regularly though, so I can fill you in on all the random things that have been happening.

Instagram @btscally.

Thanks for reading – talk soon!