Set. Backs.

It honestly feels like I’m taking a million steps backwards and facing the harsh reality that my knee isn’t just going to fix itself. Ignorance really isn’t bliss in this situation.

I’ve been dealing with a sprained knee for nearly six weeks now, and it’s starting to feel like it’ll never end. I’ve had a couple of physio sessions, and they’ve all said the same thing: rest. So, I thought I’d do what they said and just rest—except for work, of course. But man, it’s proving a lot harder than I thought. Trying to rest is impossible when I’m walking to and from bus stops every day. I feel like absolute rubbish, knowing I’m not doing anything other than working, and then I’m on my feet for hours during my shifts.

I’ve even had to spend money on Ubers now, when normally I would walk everywhere. It’s starting to add up, and I just feel like the little bit of rest I’m supposed to be getting in between doesn’t really make a difference. It’s frustrating because I want to take care of my knee, but it feels like I’m making no progress when I’m still running around for work and spending more money just to get around.

If I start looking for a new job here, I know it’s going to take a while, and I’m already using my savings on rent and Ubers. I can’t keep pretending my knee is fine when it clearly isn’t. I’ve been trying to find other work since I got here, but no luck so far, so all the signs are pointing toward leaving sooner than I planned.

I’m trying to stay positive, but honestly, it’s hard not to feel like a failure. I had this vision of what my time here would be like, and it’s tough knowing that I won’t get to experience all of it. I’ve been looking forward to a Vancouver summer, and even though I’ve had my ups and downs over the last five months, there were things I was really excited to do and see.

But none of that matters now because I can’t even do any of it with a dodgy knee. So here we are.

It’s time to look at what I haven’t done and start thinking about heading home in the next few months to make sure I’m not risking long-term damage to my knee. It sucks, but at least I’m doing what I need to do for myself.